He looks good in it

So it's been an ongoing debate about what my grandfather would be wearing to the wedding. I always thought a tux was a good idea but he was resistant. Well...we got him fitted now so he can't back out!

"Yahoo! It's what we do!"

So I'm going to Maryland to visit the fam for a couple days and need to get to the airport. My computer is packed and we don't own a phone book so I dial 411 and ask for a taxi in Hermosa Beach. I call. "10 minutes." Perfect. Ten minutes pass and one of the sorriest looking SUVs I'd ever seen pulls into the driveway. "I'm your taxi!" proclaims the eager guy behind the wheel. There's no taxi sign and there is no meter. I didn't have time to call another cab so I ask him how much. He says it's a $20 flat rate. That's what the fare would be so I decide to hop in and embark on one of the more interesting "taxi" rides I've ever been on.

During the twelve minutes it took to get from my house to LAX...

• He asked me if I wanted a McDonalds fish sandwich. Apparently he ordered two but could only eat one. It did smell like fish in the car but I never saw the sandwhich or a wrapper. Strange.
• He told me he was going to try to convert his SUV to a hybrid engine so it could get 50 mpg.
• After I told him I was a writer he asked about how you go about selling a tagline idea. He told me he had the best one for Yahoo! He built it up saying "are you ready?" over and over until I got "Yahoo! It's what we do!" followed by the obligatory pause for a response. I told him it was interesting but that I didn't know how to sell a tagline. (I was lying. Last October I actually wrote tagline-type copy for this Yahoo ad.)
• He told me that Malibu, when pronounced in Arabic (as Mal abu) means "From your father's money". I told him that I thought a lot of people in Malibu were living off their father's money and he thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. He then told me that I should go up to someone speaking Arabic and tell them this. He insisted that they would find it funny. I told him I would try to do that. (I didn't)
• He asked me to pay him before we got to the airport. He said it would make things faster. (Obviously it was because unlicensed cabs are illegal!)
• He tried to give me his card but since it was magnetic and sitting in a stack under the hot sun he couldn't separate a single card. He offered to give me this huge stack of fifty fused cards so I'd have the number. I politely declined.

I made it alive, I wasn't ripped off, and I have a story. What more can I possibly need!?

Tux places--still suck, but now it's done.

After much frustration we FINALLY got this whole tux thing sorted out.  Ended up going with Men's Wearhouse because they seem to be the only place with stores everywhere.  After a tux that works I went over to place the order.  Of course...I had to be with this guy who was either on his first day or he was simply a certifiable idiot.  When I told him I wanted the vests and ties to be different colors this look crossed his face like I had completely blown his mind.  You'd think that Jesus himself had just taken over my body based on the stare I got.

"Oh we don't, um...it says here one...um...I don't know how to...um....two colors?  Are you sure?"

Fortunately all was not lost and a much more intelligent and experienced woman noticed his confusion and stepped in to complete my order.

OK...one more thing checked off the list.  523234 more to go.

No, really. Tux places suck.

So on a return visit we finally were able to talk to someone at the tux place and what do we learn after the woman takes our order?

Well, we were at Afterhour Formal and it turns out that all the Afterhour Formal stores in New England are turning into Mr. Tux in May. That wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that Mr. Tux is ONLY located in New England and Afterhour couldn't take our order for a different chain. UGH! Why, God, why!???

And so we start over again...

(as a side note I referenced Seinfeld in the last post--Liz pointed out to me the reservations episode was about the car rental not the chinese restaurant. I humbly bow to her expert Seinfeld knowledge.)

Tux places suck

So we make these big plans to go try on Tuxes and find something for the wedding.  Darrin, Liz, and I make the time on Sunday and I call ahead to make an appointment.

So we get there and I tell the woman working that I have an apointment and she replies..."I don't know why my manager bothered making appointments when she knew I'd be here alone."

Needless to say 40 minutes passed and we didn't seem much closer to actually being helped so we left.  

The whole thing reminded me of the Sienfeld episode at the Chinese Restaurant.

"You know how to TAKE a reservation, you just don't know how to KEEP a reservation."

just do it

Anyone out there who has gotten married, or knows anyone who has, knows that every bride goes batty trying to get into shape before the big day.

No exception here.

I am constantly working out, downing protein shakes, and ordering salads instead of pizza. I have made a lot of progress, but lately I've been feeling like I've been in a rut, just kind of going through the motions.

Yesterday, thanks to 24 Hour Fitness, my friend Kelly, and Nike, I broke free from my exercise rut. Last night I took seemingly the most difficult fitness class on the planet. I think I am hooked-tonight I went back for more. The class was Nike Rockstar Workout: Hip Hop. Yes, let me say it again--Nike Rockstar Workout: Hip Hop. It was designed by celebrity choreographer Jamie King. He choreographs videos for people like Madonna and Beyonce. And now, for Liz Stiles, rockstar!

I burned over 700 calories in one hour of dancing. How fun is that?! Granted, the whole first night I was there, I felt like an uncoordinated buffoon. Yes, I took dance classes for a billion years at Hazel Boone and Duval Dance Studios. Yes, I was a cheerleader. None of that matters; this is different. The Nike class moves really, really fast. Plus, the longer the dance got, the worse my sequencing skills got. Tonight, my second night, was much smoother. I wasn't good, but I didn't suck either. And, more importantly, I had a blast. Who knew working out didn't have to be a torturous affair?