Neighborhood Grinds is the black hole of first dates

Citizens of the South Bay:

Don't doom your blind first date to failure.  Avoid Neighboorhood Grinds like the plague for those hope-filled adventures with members of the opposite sex who have an intriguing online dating profile.

Trust me on this one.  It won't work out.  I've seen it again and again and again.

Under different lights she'd be clever, fun and gorgeous--better than you expect.  In any other environment he'll be an engaging, witty and attractive gentleman--the quintessential keeper.

But, all potential goes out the window in this place. Maybe there's something in the coffee.

It will undoubtedly go down like this.

She'll ramble about absolutely nothing for 90 straight minutes.  He'll sit there and nod quietly like a lost puppy.
She'll gesture wildly.  He'll tap his foot nervously.
She's probably psychotic. He might have Asperger's.

And if you're going to get dinner, go to a fucking restaurant that serves real food.  The awkward silences as you each bite into stale panini bread that crumbles all over your shirts won't help the case for a second date.

Plus, you both will annoy me.

With concern,


PS  If you image google "terrible first date", Sean Hannity shows up on page 3.  Think of him next time you consider of blind dating at my coffee shop.

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